What Scott Wore

Big pimpin’! This fur-lined, opulent, royal coat is really inspired by Louis XIV today. Did somebody just ask for Lord Disick?

Let them eat cake.

Like. A. Boss. Rolling out in my Prussian blue velvet jacket. People are like, “whoa, it’s like a smoking jacket, but it’s not.” Then, I blow their minds with the matching Prussian blue velvet shoes with the complementary thistle-colored socks. Classic.

Glad we decided to go with the matching orange. It’s not too overwhelming, like she’s in an orange dress and I in an orange suit. The leather boots and sweater is the perfect match, just like us. We need to make sure people continue to think that we’re happily married and see eye-to-eye.

Babe, would you say this is a medium slate blue? This guy made a snarky remark that I’m wearing purple mountain majesty. Not that I couldn’t pull off the color, but if you’re going to insult my attire, at least recognize that this is medium slate blue.

Jesus, it’s really freaking hard to have people take me seriously when I have a frilly ballerina thing going on next to me. If I can tone down the fashion for some classic looks, then she can.

Like father like son, huh little Mason? Soon you’ll be downing whiskey sours just like your stylin’ daddy.

God, and I thought I was a total tool, douche bag. At least wear a suit. A fuckin’ white V-neck. Really? At least I look slick.